DAYTUM

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The Onion

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All of Nation's Resources Dumped into 50 Children Who Are Actually the Future (1.0)

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Chris Kattan Wondering Whether He Should Start a Podcast (1.0)

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Media Reminds Public Not to Overemphasize Super Tuesday Results or Draw Any Sort of Wide-Ranging Conclusions (1.0)

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New Father Remembers Time When Baseball Wasn't so Goddamn Meaningful (1.0)

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Obama Waiting for Perfect Moment to Walk by White House Tour Group (1.0)

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Pathetic Bobcats Owner Again Regaling Players with Tales of His NBA Glory Days (1.0)

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Poll: 63% of Americans Say They Have a Problem with a Mormon President Who is also Mitt Romney (1.0)

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Ray-Ban a Little Unsure Public Can Pull Off 2012 Series of Sunglasses (1.0)

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Report: Humans Have Evolved to Point Where They No Longer Hear Dick Vitale (1.0)

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Report: Only Matter of Time Before 'SportsCenter' Host Snaps, Blows Brains Out on Live Television (1.0)

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Residents of Indian Join Together to Form Collective Consciousness (1.0)

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This Article Generating Thousands of Dollars in Ad Revenue Simply by Mentioning New iPad (1.0)

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U.S. Citizen Resigns After Making Controversial Remark About Country (1.0)

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Your Dog Died: Sorry You Had to Learn About it Like This, Buddy (1.0)